Every partnership is composed of two individuals, and whenever you have two individuals who have different sets of thoughts, emotions, and opinions conflict is bound to be involved.
Is fighting in a relationship normal? Better yet, is fighting in a relationship healthy?
The truth is conflict is inevitable, and it shouldn’t always be viewed as a “bad” or “toxic” thing. In fact it can be viewed as healthy and better yet a good opportunity to get to learn more about your partner. When tensions are high and you and your partner are on the brink of an argument, finding some ways to navigate those conversations can turn your fights into constructive fights or conversations and allow you to work together as a team!
How To Fight Fair
The good news about fighting is that it’s completely normal. In any relationship no matter the age, distance, or situation arguments are bound to arise and it’s normal to sometimes feel on edge. But, there is a difference between constructive fighting or squabbles and full blown toxic arguments. Learning how to navigate situations in the heat of an argument can allow you to turn your arguments into an opportunity to better understand your partner.
- Choose Your Words: In the middle of any heated arguments,tempers are flaring and emotions are at a high. If you find yourself in the middle of this situation with your partner, it is important to take a step back and pick your words carefully. Words can have quite an impact and while you may feel yourself wanting to retort or fire back an insult, opting for kind words can help ease the situation while allowing you and your partner to communicate and solve the problem.
- Be Open Minded: Problems cant be solved if you’re looking at them from a negative point of view. If you and your partner are fighting, likely there is a difference of opinion or difference of understanding at stake. If you approach the situation with an open mind, willing to hear your partner’s side of the story, you can come to a peaceful resolution.
- Avoid Interruption: In the middle of a heated argument, the need to voice your concerns, complaints, or opinions are usually your top priority. However, if you take a step back you may realize your partner is feeling the exact same way. During any fight, giving your partner time to explain their feelings, thoughts, or opinions can help you clear the air much faster and quicker if you’re not shouting over each other!
- Look At Their Side: It’s much easier to point the finger than admit fault. While you and your partner are disagreeing, take a step back and try to see things from their point of view. Try to take into account what you can do to help alleviate some of the grievances from your partner and find a middle ground so that both of your needs are fulfilled and your voices are heard.
Unhealthy Ways to Fight
While fighting can be a healthy way to hash out opinions and come to a solution, there are plenty of versions of fighting in a relationship that are unhealthy. So, how do you determine whether you are fighting in a healthy, normal way or if your arguments have taken a turn for the worse? Outside of your own intuition, there are some tell-tale signs you can look for if you find yourself on the path towards a toxic relationship.
- Making threats
- Name calling
- Tearing eachother down
- Verbally, mentally, or emotionally abusive language
At our worst, we are all subject to say some things we regret or wish we could take back. However, calling your partner an idiot is much different than emotionally abusing your partner or threatening them. Outside of verbal threats, if you find you and your partner’s fights ever getting physical, it is best to leave your partner.
Benefits Of Fighting In A Relationship
It sounds bizarre, but there are some benefits you and your partner can gain from arguing. While it is not recommended to constantly bicker, fighting can be an effective way to better understand your partner, work together towards resolution, and come together as a stronger team.
In times of high stress or emotion, it is easier to get a clear view of who people truly are. If you and your partner are in this position you can gain some understanding into how they think and feel about situations. For example, maybe they are upset that they always have to take the trash out and you never offer. In your mind it may just be a mundane house chore, but to them its the intent behind the task and not the task itself. Once you can learn this about them, you can better understand their rationale and why they got mad in the first place.
Every partnership is composed of two individuals, and whenever you have two individuals who have different sets of thoughts, emotions, and opinions conflict is bound to be involved. Is fighting in a relationship normal?
Resolution and Growth
At the end of every fight comes an agreement or resolution. In a relationship you can use this middle ground to strengthen your bond with your partner. Hashing out your emotions in a raw and true way can allow you to connect with your partner on a deeper level and in turn have a deeper respect for one another.